Hi all,
I'm writing this with some embarrassment, but since whenever I post prayer requests on here God REALLY answers, I'll go ahead and share: I had a complete crying meltdown today. I think it was a delayed stress reaction. Hopefully most of you know that feeling of one more thing going wrong or being difficult or sad, and you just slide over the edge. In my case, it was pretty much bedlam this morning (the morning I have the most help of the week - two wonderful people!), and I was exhausted. I find I need more like 9 hours of sleep than 7 on the spectrum of "the average person needs 7-9 hours of sleep per day," no doubt largely because of the stress and constant-ness of our situation. But it is HARD for me to go to bed at night because it's the only chance I have to get the house cleaned up, read a book, blog, etc.! It's the only time the house is quiet and "mine" to work in uninterrupted. And last night I got up with Seth at 4:30 to do inhalers, after having gotten up after midnight because I was too hungry to sleep. (Sometimes I don't eat enough during the day, or only eat junk. Working on rectifying that; eating as I type!)
Anyway, today I hit a wall. When I started trying to ask the speech therapist questions about feeding Seth, I fell apart. I just could not stop crying for the next hour or so. I think it had to do with the chaos around us, the strain of getting Isaac's homework done and getting him to school late (My first big mistake was not calling in Gavin to HELP! but he had a doctor's appointment anyway.), and then Will starting a runny nose. Remember those lurking fevers? Well, they lurk still, and we are still trying to keep Seth separate - another big stress. I don't want him back in the hospital.
Anyway, Gavin has been wonderful. He brought me flowers. He brain-stormed with me on how to help the situation(s) as a couple. He encouraged me to call him ASAP when something's brewing. I THANK GOD for a husband who is so supportive and loving!!
Thanks for your prayers. I really, really need them. These are the happiest days of my life, but also the most extendedly stressful. I feel so blessed that I feel guilty when it's actually hard sometimes. But I guess no matter how much help one receives, raising five exploring, growing babies and one very active school-aged child IS hard from time to time! :)
Love and gratitude,
Carrie
This is the blog for Gavin and Carrie Jones and family. We live in Papua New Guinea and are working to see lives transformed by the living Word of God through Bible translation. Gavin is a helicopter pilot. Carrie, who has her degree in Public Health, works in the lab at our busy rural clinic. Our son, Isaac, was born in 2004 and our quintuplets, Will, David, Marcie, Seth, and Grace, were born in 2012.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. The you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:3-6
Monday, September 23, 2013
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Gavin, Carrie, Isaac, Will, David, Marcie, Seth, & Grace Jones
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2013
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September
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- . . . and two super cute videos!
- Two more cute pictures
- Pictures galore!
- When Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy
- Video for the ladies :)
- quick prayer request; cute picture(s)
- The days are just PACKED!
- Seth is HOME!
- Seth is much better!
- Not much to report from Seth, Sunday morning
- One-year-old birthday photo shoot
- Saturday later afternoon post
- Gavin's mid-day post
- Urgent request - Seth struggling
- Seth is still pretty crummy
- Pictures
- Seth Thursday afternoon.
- Update from Carrie
- Seth worsening, with collapsing lung
- Update Sunday Sept 8 with pictures of all but Seth
- Midnight Sunday "morning" update
- Seth "this morning"
- 2 a.m. Urgent prayer request
- Midnight update, Saturday morning
- Late update Thursday night
- P.S.
- Seth really sick again :(
- At the "races" this morning
- A very short one
- Round two
- Another video
- Quick update Sunday night (Monday morning)
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September
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Oh Carrie, how I completely understand!! Bless your heart. Hope you feel better after the good cry. Love the video and pictures of all the babies. As always, praying for all of you.
ReplyDeleteYou touched my heart, Carrie. Although we didn't have five babies at once, we did have a baby with RSV and asthma (along with food allergies and excema) and I understand your stress level. That was 24 years ago and I remember losing it in the pediatrician's office after another hospital stay. When a baby is having trouble breathing it's very scary. We spent many nights counting our baby's breaths/minute and listening for wheezing. A nebulizer was standard equipment in our house.
ReplyDeleteYou're so blessed to have a loving husband. Lean on him when you're feeling less than strong - he'll love you all the more for trusting in him to pick up the pieces. You're all in my prayers.
Dear Carrie - I have followed your blog since before the Quints were born. There is no reason for you to be embarrassed that you find yourself overwhelmed. Every parent hits that point, and that is when they only have one healthy child to raise. You are faced with challenges that most of us, myself included, can only try to imagine. You have strengths that many do not - a supportive partner, a circle of family and friends, and equal to them all is your faith. It seems to me that you have little to no time for yourself, and the reason is clear to all.
ReplyDeleteI thank you for sharing openly with us. I pray for G-d's blessing on you and your family. I pray for complete healing for Seth and G-d's compassion for his caregivers - chiefly you.
We will pray for you - all of us who follow your blog, and pray with you every day.
Please rest - please let all those who want to help, help - that was the hardest part of raising three children alone was to realize that it was okay to take the help that was offered.
G-d is compassionate, G-d is merciful and will provide for those who seek G-d.
Carrie - I can still remember the date - January 1, 1978 - our ONE preemie had been born on December 21st, and I had held up as long as I could, and I totally broke down, couldn't stop crying for the entire day. But, I have come to believe that tears are a blessing - the release of all that pent up emotion - and thank God that He has provided that release for us, otherwise, I think we might explode. You are doing a marvelous job and your FIVE precious preemies are a testament to that.
ReplyDeleteHeavenly Father, please give Your peace that passes understanding to Carrie and Gavin, and the knowledge that You entrusted those five precious souls to them because they can handle it all as they rely on You. Please provide the help needed and the patience to deal with the stress that 5 sick babies can bring. You are a good and merciful God, and we thank you for all the miracles that You have brought this family and praise Your Holy Name. Amen. NKL
I love the comments so far! Carrie, you definitely don't need to be embarrassed, and I'm glad you shared so freely. You have had some incredibly stressful weeks, and that causes both emotional and physical strain. Your body and brain obviously needed that release, and it's ok. We know that you love your family with your whole being! But that doesn't mean it will be easy to care for them day after day. You are doing hard, beautiful work, and you are doing it so well! Hopefully you can get some extra rest today, and feel like you have a better plan after your talk with Gavin. I will keep you in prayer throughout the day and the week - may you sense God's hands supporting you and his peace in your heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Prayers answered! :) I do pray it's beautiful work. I find it beautiful most of the time. Until someone has a blow-out diaper and is screaming at the top of his lungs while I try to change it . . .
DeleteLove, Carrie
I guess "beautiful" isn't always "pretty"! ;-)
DeleteCarrie, I am convinced there is no greater tension releaser than a good "snot dripping cry". Please pardon my crudeness but since we're being HOT (i.e. honest, open and transparent), let's just call it what it is. My only surprise is that you don't melt down more than you do. I remember when I was working in very strenuous jobs and multi-tasking twenty+ times over, I would melt at least once a week. Now my responsibilities were small in comparison to those that you carry. You are doing great and don't let the enemy tell you otherwise. We are probably never closer to God than when we have absolutely reached the end our ourselves and all other resources that we have at our disposal. Please know that tears are a language that God understands! I'll sign off by saying "God will be there until the last teardrop falls"!!! So weep my lady. It's good for the soul.!
ReplyDeleteMuch love to all of you,
Gail Boemker
Problem is, I can't cry too much and then face the exhaustion afterwards! :)
DeleteLove and thanks,
Carrie
I once heard a sermon titled "Salt Water Cures Everything." If you have problems/stress you can cry, sweat or sit at the beach - either way salt water will help what ails you. Crying, as you did, releases the stress that has built up, a good work out or working at a physical task will allow you to sweat out your frustrations and sitting at the beach marveling at God's handiwork while doing some praying and listening is a balm for the soul. So don't think of crying it out as a weakness rather as a prescription for your stress.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Sweet Carrie,
ReplyDeleteYou honestly are doing an amazing job as mamma....even singing as you work throughout the day! God bless you and thankyou for sharinig your most intimate need/prayer concerns with all of us. One of my sons (who also loves your precious little ones :), remarked how is she able to even post as much as she does? You are in all of our prayers; don't worry about the cleaning, blogs, etc. You get the rest, food, and time with the Lord and your family that you need first. Love you, cj
Awww, thanks!! :) We love you too!
DeleteDear Carrie,
ReplyDeleteI too have been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out in my role as a parent. It is scary to be so upset and crying uncontrollably but I agree with the others that the unrelenting tears are an often needed release!! Know that I am lifting you up in prayer and asking the Lord to put a hedge of protection around your family in every way--both emotionally and physically. I love the mental picture that being hedged in by the protection of the Lord provides. I'm so happy to hear that you're getting a nebulizer for Seth. I'm also praying that the Lord will prevent him from developing asthma long term. HUGS!!!!
wow, thanks so much - and prayers for you, too! Hugs back at you, even though I don't know who you are. Sisters in parenthood!
DeleteCarrie you have been on my heart many times over the past year and I have been praying especially for you, since I found the blog a year ago....All of the issues with 5 preemies and the medical problems and a young son..and a husband..is a BIG load....And this last month or more With all of the babies sick 2 times in a row...one in the hospital, a husband out of town, teething babies, insecure.. - babies.....YOU ARE DOING WONDERFUL,,,ALL YOU CAN FOR YOUR FAMILY......When I read this blog this morning....I couldn't respond, then because i've been there a few in the last months the last one being yesterday.., and 2 times being in ER......As My Therapist says " ANY ONE GOING THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY"....That was a help to me ...I also agree with with everyone above....You need to take as much help as you can to recharge,to stay in this marathon,,,You have loving trusting people who God has placed in your life... (My marathon is my son who I adopted when he was 13 months old. I was his teacher in a special school ,so I knew of his disability , but did not know till his teens that he also has Bi-polar and obsessive compulsive disorder...He lives with us and we have had good coverage in the home....About a month age we had to Fire one of the workers,( we have two) I had to take over his work, the agency is now looking for more help but we are down to one worker,,,my husband was gone for only three days(which my son was very insecure, and was it was draining.) Other things are also.going on ..too,,Maybe I've said too much....But the fact is You like myself and and many other people( mothers) need to find some ways to recharge.....I was just saying to my husband a week or to back that I stay up late because it's quiet and My Peaceful time...Just to do for ME....I never knew anyone else felt that way...With the health scares lately.. I'm am needing to get more sleep..( I'm a 9 hour too),,,,and get more breaks....Maybe you can go to another house where the kids go at times..and get a good night sleep....If you can get Gavin to do the morning routine or evening,,a couple times a week so you can sleep in....when helpers are there take a nap or go to a bookstore and just sit or read,,,,,,IF AT all possible go for a massage..You are doing a wonderful job and it's so evident how much you whole heart in is caring for you family.(Just as much as I dearly love my husband son and 2 daughters) Our Wonderful Father in Heaven knows and will hold you in his hands and is with you and gave you the ability to cry and release....don't be embarrassed it shows strength... .and again is a witness to all of us,,, thank you..God bless you...
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not alone in struggling! God bless you and provide for you, too. I am definitely taking the advice and need to head to bed soon so I can get up tomorrow morning and be Mommy again. :) Thanks to everyone for the encouragement! Love, Carrie
DeleteNo one has a single idea of what your going through and what you HAVE gone through. And not just since the babies have arrived....there was all that stress of getting pregnant and the stress of the pregnancy itself all wrapped up in keeping those little blessings "cooking" for as long as humanly possible. My son and daughter in law are going through a lot of medical issues with our grandson since his Cystic Fibrosis diagnosis....the other day one of her "friends" had a problem and she wanted to go over and talk to her about it. My daughter in law had her hands full with Zeke and his treatments along with the little one was ill with bronchitis....she asked her if she could wait until the next day when things were a bit calmer and she could then give her her full attention....the "friend" was so horrible to her...telling her she was self-centered and since the 2 younger kids came along she wasn't "there" for her any more (the little one also has medical problems which require extra care). Today I posted a note on the "friends" FaceBook page....this was the quote: "DO NOT JUDGE, You don't know the storm I've asked her to walk through....God" Believe me Carrie, NOBODY is judging you, nobody...praying for your stress level to decrease, for some peace in your mind and body and for all those little ones to get better and STAY well! Hugs from a stranger....
ReplyDeleteThanks, stranger! I don't feel judged at all; a huge blessing! And I have more of a heart than ever for parents and kids who deal with CF day in and day out. It's hard enough when Seth has a temporary illness; can't imagine it being chronic. I'm glad your daughter had the sense to say "no" lovingly, even if her "friend" couldn't take it! I guess no one but God knows exactly what any one of us is going through at any given time. Everyone has their "thing," a friend of mine used to say, their unique challenge that no one else would want to shoulder. Thanks for caring! Love, Carrie
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