But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children's children . . . Psalm 103:17

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Four realities I am not thrilled about

(Or, to be most grammatically correct: "Four realities about which I am not thrilled")

One, I am supposed to gain 80 pounds minimum. The more the mom gains, the more the babies gain, and the more the babies gain, the longer they tend to stay put (counterintuitive, I know) and the healthier they tend to be. I used to think it would be fun to get one of those movie roles where you had to gain weight (except for the part about losing it again), but I am already sick of eating and am only at 12 weeks! Thank God, the nausea is MUCH abated, so that makes it easier, but in my first pregnancy I ate like a pig and lost 2 pounds by 5 months, so clearly my body isn't great at packing on the pounds until later in the pregnancy, and in this pregnancy I won't have as much of a "later" as I did with my full-term one. So, you could pray, if you are so led, that I will be able and even wanting to eat nearly constantly. That would be a blessing. :) Those of you who know me can hardly believe that eating TOO MUCH is a burden for me - I love food!

Two, when the babies come home from the hospital they are going to need to eat every 2 hours around the clock. As they say in Melanesian Pidgin, "Aiyo!" We have been praying for God to raise up an army of volunteers and are already seeing that prayer being answered, but we could definitely use more help if you feel a burning desire to rock and feed preemies at 2:00 a.m. or any other time of the night or day. :)

[As an aside, many people have been asking my parents and us how they can help, and although we always mention the need for holding and feeding babies, we could also use help with meals, laundry (don't worry, we're using disposables), "diaper drives" at your workplace, church or Bible study, and maybe cleaning, if my sister's full-time job at that point unkindly interferes with her being able to offer her services. ;) I am supposed to nurse and bond with the babies as much as possible, plus of course will be recovering from major abdominal surgery. Which brings me to realities three and four . . . ]

Three, I have been warned by my multiples book and by a mom of quintuplets and another mom of triplets that bonding is VERY difficult and delayed when you have multiples. This is a huge disappointment to me, as my postpartum depression "robbed" me of the joy and mushy feelings of the first six months of Isaac's life, and he was a PRECIOUS, relatively easy, happy, full-term baby! I was really hoping with this baby (when I thought it was just one) to be able to enjoy the early months so much more, in a healthy environment, somewhat experienced, surrounded by friends and family, and on medication to ward off chemical craziness. But with multiples, according to all three of my knowledgeable, experienced sources, it's just a really hard job, and it's all you can do to survive and help the babies thrive. Which is why we have been praying for helpers! I would love to "defy" the authorities and experts and actually be crazy in love with my babies. But if it's going to be survival mode only, at least I'll be forewarned and realize I am normal and that eventually I WILL be crazy in love with each of them. It just may take a year or so. :)

And finally, four (Warning men! You can sign off at this point!): I will have feet and feet of stretch-marked extra skin that will never go back into anything resembling a normal abdomen. So I am already praying for God's provision of a tummy tuck, one way or another. I wish they could just do it on the C-section operating table - I've heard the recovery from a multiples C-section is already brutally painful! :} Obviously, it's not life or death or even important in the grand scheme of things, but I sure would love to have my tummy back eventually. I think Gavin would agree. ;)

A few days ago I was thinking of realities 2 and 3 and feeling sorry for myself, but then a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer called to say she understood my struggle with anxiety and would be praying for me. After that, I read my cousin's blog of letters to her precious little boy who is in Heaven now, the tears flowing down my face the whole time. And the next day I met a man dying of ALS who kept saying in his garbled voice that he would pray for us. WOW. What humbling experiences.

And I said to myself: "So, shut up with your self-pity that your plans didn't work out, Carrie! What ever made you think you were in control in any way in the first place? And this gift of five babies after five-plus years of praying for another baby is just that: a GIFT."

Children are always a blessing from the Lord, and as my cousin's blog reminds me, DON'T TAKE A SINGLE ONE FOR GRANTED. Each one is PRECIOUS and UNIQUE, even if I am getting more than I "wanted" originally. God's plans are WAY better than mine! Which is probably why the first thing that went through my mind on the ultrasound table when we discovered we were having multiple multiples was the verse, "Now unto Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think . . . "*

In His Grip,

* Eph. 3:20 - Can you tell I was raised in AWANA with the old King James version? ;)

Gavin, Carrie, Isaac, Will, David, Marcie, Seth, & Grace Jones

Gavin, Carrie, Isaac, Will, David, Marcie, Seth, & Grace Jones

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