I can't wait until . . . .

It's an all-too-common phrase from my (Gavin's) lips.  I can't wait till the babies ALL can hold their own bottles.  I can't wait till they stop screaming for everything they want/need and start using words.  I can't wait until Seth stops throwing up.  I can't wait until he can eat on his own.  I can't wait until I can go back to PNG and get back to "my normal life."  I can't wait . . . .  So it goes.

I was convicted recently (another way of saying the Holy Spirit spoke to me in His wisdom) that my "I can't waits" are not something that bring honor to God.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  They do not come from an attitude he has called me to have.  I see it now as a way of saying, "God, this plan you've come up for me now, in the present . . . well, I don't like it.  I've got a plan for myself that I see in the future that I basically want now."

Often, if I'm very honest with myself, that IS exactly how I feel.  I'm not that happy in the now, in the present situation He has given me.  But that's just it.  HE, the Great I Am, the Lord of the universe, the one who loves me and has chosen me to live forever with Him in Heaven after this breath of life on earth is over-- yes, He is the one who has given me the present.  I am to live in it with joy and thanksgiving.  This God who "holds everything together by the power of His word"(Hebrews 1:3) has called me to "rejoice in the Lord always." (Philippians 4:4) The New Living Translation phrases the same verse in an even more challenging way: "Always be full of joy in the Lord."

 Rejoicing in the Lord most definitely includes praising and thanking Him for what His omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent hands have given me.  My daily portion comes from the One who formed me in the womb and who has made every cell in me since.  I can rest and trust Him to not just number my days but direct the activities and occurrences of each one that passes.

Where lies the biggest challenge for me is having the "mind of Christ." (1 Corinthians 2:16b)  Truly to accept with joy God's purpose and intentions for my life by faith.  To be able to say to God, as Christ did in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)

As I again read the verse from 1 Corinthians, it says "we have the mind of Christ."  It is in the present, a state of being as the Holy Spirit lives in and through us.  Even so, there stands my sinful, worldly nature that incessantly seeks to make more of myself  than of God, of my wife, of my children-- of all others.  It continues to seek to wedge itself in between my Biblical understanding of how God should reign by His Spirit in my life and the actual words, actions, and thoughts that are my life's fruit.

Pride-- the source of every other sin-- seeks to make ME great and God small, even nonexistent.  Pride tells me that my plans are so much better than what God might come up with.  What a ridiculous and preposterous thing to say or think, yet how often do I live with just that exact posture?

God's plans for me in the present, in the NOW, in the future, are good and for His glory, not mine.  That's how it should be.  That is not at all to say that I will be happy about each one of those plans.  I really am struggling with having joy in the midst of a houseful of quintuplets.   It is not infrequently that I ask God, "Why did you choose me for this?"  It is an ok question, if asked with Mary's humility.  All too often I phrase it with Sarah's untrusting attitude.

I wonder how long it took for the disciples to be able to leave the Sanhedrin honestly "rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." (Acts 5:41)  It is my prayer
that I can have such an attitude.  That can only come from the Holy Spirit as I trust in Him and in His strength.

Don't get me wrong.  I absolutely love my children.  They are beautiful, priceless gifts from God and I thank Him for them every day.  Yet my pride gets in the way.  Lord, work in and through me for your glory.

Gavin




And now for the obligatory photo.

The quints in their natural habitat, all with looks on their faces that pretty accurately reflect their individual personalities.

It's 9:15 Saturday morning

. . . and three of the five are crying because they "feed" off of each other emotionally and behaviorally, and Gracie decided that although she's exhausted a nap is not on her list of priorities. So Marcie is standing in her crib doing protest duty as well, and Seth is rolling around with his eyes closed, managing an occasional "word" or two on the subject. Things are quieting down quickly, thank God.

David and Will are either snoozing away or playing contentedly in their cribs. They are much the better sleepers.

So this is what I caught David doing this morning:

He did end up falling, but I was right there to catch him. So much for my grand plan to push the play house/garden up against the table to try to minimize gratuitous pulling down of the other toys! David is nothing if not determined.

Marcie is a charming but "brutish" little girl, plowing through everything in her path, taking anything she wants, flashing a three-toothed grin whenever she's noticed, and definitely not as cautious as David when planning and executing her moves. She falls a LOT. So if I had seen her doing this I would have had to run for her and not the camera! [We keep the camera right on the counter so we can catch moments as they happen for this reason.]

Ah, silence in the nursery. It's 9:23.

As an aside, we were given everything in this picture. Isn't the Lord GOOD to provide abundantly all the toys we could ever "need" and more?! And another box arrived this week; we're saving it to take on a Peterson family trip to Arkansas so the kids can enjoy new (to them) toys during their 5 days there. Thank you, Trevillian Family! I loved the enclosed colored picture, too. :)

I have to smile wryly when I look at our toys and think of the sticks and stones and seed pods and bush knives the kids in the villages of PNG play with. Toys there get filthy and broken almost immediately, but a bush knife is forever. 

Okay, I have to qualify that last statement so you don't think I'm being mean. They do indeed let their small children play with large knives (much to the chagrin of our clinic staff) because they will use them for the rest of their lives in various tasks required for living in their environment. It's mostly subsistence farming there. Also, the kids make really cool jungle toys out of the seed pods and sticks - mini "cars" are a common construction. I remember Isaac asking a Papua New Guinean kid to make him one, he thought they were so cool!  

We sure are looking forward to returning to PNG, so deeply appreciate prayer that Seth's eating would take off. His gag reflex seems to be so mental. When he's distracted by something else he does so much better opening his mouth and swallowing. 

I'll sign off for now. Love and gratitude!

Carrie

It's 8:00 Friday morning

. . . and already Marcie has found and consumed all but the exoskeleton of a small beetle, Marcie and Will have broken into a K-cup and spread coffee grounds (thankfully decaf) all over their mouths, bodies and the floor, Marcie slipped on her own drool and hit the wood, and Seth vomited, then pooped in the bath and all over his towel.

Various pictures from today and yesterday

Gracie

Grace's best Aussie impression

I caught David on the dishwasher!

Will was busy under the table "cleaning up" for Marcie, eating the pieces of food she'd dropped.
He happily also found a red spoon.

Seth doing his therapy (a.k.a. "playing")

And clearly he enjoys at least this variety of therapy!

David "helping" Daddy install cupboard kiddie locks (And no, he was in no danger from the drill bit even if it looks like his fingers are close to it in this picture. Gavin is very careful!)

So many cute pictures!

This is much less a "blog" and much more a photo journal now. Hope you don't mind. :)

Gavin and Gracie got back safely from CA, praise God, so all my little babies are back under one roof.

Seth had a wonderful pulmonology appointment today. The current low pressure system moving through our area has not thrown him for the loop the last one did, so that's a huge praise. He's also just over 19 pounds now and gaining well, another praise. Thanks for praying!

Seth was adorable at his appointment, showing off for the doctor and nurse and telling us all sorts of stories with great animation and plenty of chuckles thrown in. He also LOVES going to stores and riding in the cart like a big boy, and I love taking him and showing him off! It's fun when people have no idea I have four more his age at home. It's nice to just be a normal mommy once in a while (but still have all the other babies - don't get me wrong! I couldn't do without a single one!).

Grace

Grace again, still in California (see next two pictures too)

This picture is hilarious. It's fuzzy and Will is screaming because Seth is daring to touch him, but the whole point of the picture was so show off the boys' camouflage Crocs from our friends the Smiths, now in PNG. They gave them to us when the babies were still utero and I was terrified of the reality of quints. So these cute Crocs remind me of God's promise to be faithful during this whole journey. I didn't realize how much FUN it would be, too! This was at church. Matching outfits from Aunt Bev, cousin Julie and Chloe. Thank you!!!

My shopping buddy, Seth!

Seth loving the view at the doctor's today
(He scratched his face before I cut his fingernails today.)

Happy Seth! The nurse gave him her pen to distract him while she took his pulse-ox.

Gavin measuring Gracie on the cabin wall this morning before they left for the airport. This is another Camp Sierra tradition, like baths in the outside sink. (He had to add Seth's measurement after we were already gone because we forgot to do it while we were there. Oops.)

Without his passenger

David's new pasttime

David pushing Marcie. As I said on FB: She did the steering, he provided the brute strength. :)